Communicating in a Christlike Way

 Hello,

    This week's post is about communication. I have been studying communication lately. I have some thoughts on what I have been learning. See below:

    Christ is perfect, therefore he is the perfect communicator. What He says can be easily understood by those with soft hearts who are open to listening and trying to understand with a perfect understanding. What Christ says can be easily understood, but that doesn't mean it always is; more on that later. There are certain methods that make communication more effective and efficient. See below for a list of the ones that stood out to me the most. 

    The method of communication that was taught to me this week is the EAR method. E stands for Empathy. A stands for Assertiveness. R stands for respect. We can break those down even further. Within the Empathy section: The Disarming Technique, Empathy (thought and feeling empathies), and Inquiry. Within the Assertiveness section: "I Feel..." Statements. Within the Respect section: Stroking. We can break these down further. 

    Empathy:

            The Disarming Technique is used to help the other person in a disagreement to not be so aggressive. It is put into play by finding the seed of truth in what the other person is saying, even if it hurts. Truth is truth, and we may have hurt another or we may be in the wrong in some way. This is the truth to look for. This disarming technique works because it turns the fight immediately into a discussion. It takes it from them feeling like they're unheard and have to attack for the attention they need into them feeling heard and cared for. 

        The Empathy technique is used to further help the other person in the disagreement to feel heard and cared for. When I show empathy towards another, I am finding a Christlike love for them that I may have to try really hard to maintain, but it is pure. The trying hard to maintain it part is me fighting my natural tendencies towards aggressive defensiveness. Thee are two kinds or types of empathy to be shown while using the EAR technique. These are Thought empathy and feeling empathy. Thought empathy is used when we say we hear they other person and show our understanding by paraphrasing what they have just said to us, when they are done talking and expressing themselves for a moment. Feeling empathy is used when we say what we are understanding about what the other person is feeling based on what they have communicated. This can be said as paraphrasing their feelings. 

        The Inquiry technique is used when we ask gentle and sincere questions about what has been said. This must be done in an effort to further understand the experiences, feelings, and thoughts of the other person(s) in the interaction at hand. This allows the other(s) to see and feel and think that we really do care about their experiences, and in turn, them as a whole person with thoughts and feelings that they own. 

    Assertiveness:

        The use of "I Feel" Statements is used to express our own ideas and feelings about a situation. This technique is used IN PARTICULAR to show that we are a whole person with thoughts and feelings that we own by ourselves. It can also be used to show how other people or situations affect us. It is a non-blaming thing, unlike "you" statements. Listen to these examples: "I feel sad when I hear mean things said about me" vs "You say mean things about me and make me sad." See the difference?

    Respect:

        Stroking is the final thing we need to talk about concerning the EAR method. To stroke someone in a discussion is to show respect to them, even when feeling angered. Adopt an attitude of respect and find something to say that is positive towards the other person. Make sure it is genuinely positive. This will take practice. It can be done, to great success, in the middle of a fiery and animated discussion. 

    These practices, put into practice, will help me to communicate as my Savior did to even those most vile of His persecutors. 

With Great Hope,

-AR