Parenting and Pessimism

 Hello, 

Welcome to this week's blog! So great to have you with us today. 

The title of this post is a little misleading. I am actually quite optimistic about parenting my future children. What I am pessimistic about is ever getting to the point of having children. I have had experiences which indicate to me that I will have children. I trust the experiences and the people who gave them to me and guided me through them. I just struggle to have the faith that I will ever get to that point, even though my courtship relationship is going extremely well. 

Anyways, here are some plans of mine concerning my future parenting. I don't want to hit my kids. Not that I will never, but as absolutely as seldom as possible will I hit my kids, especially...no, just especially all the time. How do I teach them not to jut if I am regularly hitting them? The same goes for screen time as well as going outside to play. Children have a natural and innate tendency and need to do the things and be the things that parents do and are. My children, if they are like the other kids I have interacted with, are going to want to emulate those that they look up to. This will first be my future wife and I, then their siblings, and as they get older, their friends will have a massive influence on them, as well as non-friends and even those they do not get along with. Another influence on my children's thoughts and actions will be the media that they take in and the games they play. I would like it if my kids were not really fans of video games, but I do not see that as reasonable, and may even cause them undue strife due to not fitting in with their peers. This is something that my future wife and I will have to discuss as we get to the point of having kids, and maybe even a bit before that. 

Another thing that I worry about in the case of having children is the influence that porn might eventually have on them. I have seen trends where the sons of fathers who struggled immensely with it also struggle immensely with it. I have struggled immensely with it and I want to see that chain broken with my future son and I. The first step there is to continue walking the straight and narrow path, that is to say, living righteously, and secondly to play a more active role in my son's life. he will not have to grow up alone as I did. He will not have to choose between which parent to love. I will do what my parents failed to do, and that was love each other actively. Love is a verb. 

I will be an active parent. According to an exam that I took in school recently, I already have quite a lot of active parenting skills and/or mindsets. I guess mindset isn't plural. Anyways, I am feeling really confident about my ability to parent and I fully expect that confidence to get knocked down once I actually become a father. However, I will take lessons from mortal experts as well as The Expert, Father above, and parent as close to how He does as I can. It will be trying times, but full of love and growth. I am excited!

Thanks,

-AR

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Intro

Image
 Hey Everyone!       I am Ammon R. and this is my first blog. It will contain my thoughts and insights on families and their functions in my life and ways that families can improve their member's experiences and relationships with each other.      A little bit about myself, my family, and my intentions with this blog: I am a child of multiple divorces. My personal family relations were fairly poor in quality growing up. We were a broken family and are now considered a blended family. Relationships are improving as we all move out and make our own way in the world. I want to explore what might be done differently when I start my own family so that relationships can be positive the during my entire tenure as a parent. I am really excited to learn and share with anyone who wants to learn with me!      I am going to university for Range Management. I find myself absolutely enraptured with the outdoors (See photo of me so happy to find a...
Read more

Concerning Rules, Expectations vs Agreements

 Hello all, I have been thinking this week about systems and the rules that govern them. We have the natural world, which is subject to the laws of physics(and some things we just don't understand yet). We have the spiritual world, which is subject to spiritual laws. At the intersection of those worlds, I find families. It is within the relationship of marriage that the spiritual world and the physical world are meant to meet in the process of child bearing and rearing.  Families have rules. I think we can all agree on that. Some rules are stated outright and some are not talked about at all. These are called implicit and explicit rules. I'll give some examples just to be sure we are all on the same page. At my dad's house, I was given a curfew. As I got older, my curfew got stretched to be later and later into the night. This was standardized and practiced with every child in the household. A rule that we had that was not stated was this: DO NOT spray the garden hose into ...
Read more

Communicating in a Christlike Way

 Hello,     This week's post is about communication. I have been studying communication lately. I have some thoughts on what I have been learning. See below:     Christ is perfect, therefore he is the perfect communicator. What He says can be easily understood by those with soft hearts who are open to listening and trying to understand with a perfect understanding. What Christ says can be easily understood, but that doesn't mean it always is; more on that later. There are certain methods that make communication more effective and efficient. See below for a list of the ones that stood out to me the most.      The method of communication that was taught to me this week is the EAR method. E stands for Empathy. A stands for Assertiveness. R stands for respect. We can break those down even further. Within the Empathy section: The Disarming Technique, Empathy (thought and feeling empathies), and Inquiry. Within the Assertiveness section: "I Feel..." Sta...
Read more